I’m gone keep it all the way 💯. I have been a quitter the entirety of my life. I have known this about myself always, even when other people didn’t see it. My hyper-intellectual, performance based, rapid paced output blinds people to my inability to finish anything for myself.
See, when you live in fear? The process will punk you.
If you know me, you might be shocked to hear me allude to the fact that I have lived in fear. I’d nod and smile, too, because that’s how I want it to be—I would never just WANT anybody to think I was afraid of anything, right? I think most people who know me moderately well would describe me as fearless: I have no problem being assertive—aggressive, even; I spend as much time championing others as I do standing up for myself; I will fight, even at the age of 42 (don’t let the fat fool you, there is muscle under there and I believe that you ought not pull that thang out unless you plan to bang); and I very rarely miss an opportunity to call “bull🤬” if you are in fact trying to play me. I am the person who points out that the emperor is naked, that an elephant is lallygagging in the middle of the room, and that a demon is in operation. I don’t give off fear vibes, right?
Reality is that fear doesn’t always look like some scared person freaking out in the corner somewhere weeping and gnashing teeth. Fear looks like a lot the stalling out that happens when you’re lost in perfection—I call it the weeds in the way. Fear looks like the frozen state of never beginning because you talk yourself out of the idea of ever being successful. Fear looks like putting something out there, but then not promoting it because who would bother anyway? Fear looks like throwing yourself into projects and activities not your own, always busy and always blaming others for your lack of success when you’re the one who keeps volunteering your time that should have been spent on your project.
Yeah. Fear looks like me.
I have always known this about me.
And so, between October 2019 and now, God has set about fixing this glitch in my life. I guess God got tired of me going around the same mountain, and that perhaps I had been processed enough to handle a major step. I’ve talked about it before and again (you can visit my IGTV for videos about it), but the process has been nothing but hard work and heavy repentance.
And it has been worth the work.
If you are a person given to hiding behind procrastination and poor personal perception wrapped in the veil of perfectionism? You are NOT alone in that. I am just coming here right now to encourage you. It is possible and your inheritance in Christ to be truly free to live. Whom the SON sets free is truly free indeed, and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty.
What this means is exchanging the way you used to see things for God’s way of seeing things. This requires a transformation of thought by learning to think like Christ—and not just think like we say. When the word of God says think, what God is really saying to you is that you need to TRUST THE FATHER like Christ trusted The Father.
See, Jesus never did anything according to His own will. He knew His final earthly destination was the cross, sure. But I’m between? He literally only did what the Lord God told Him to do and only said what the Father commanded Him to say (see my posts What That Mouth Do Part 1 and Part 2; Part 3 coming soon). Jesus also never did anything according to His own power. The Holy Spirit rested on Him after His water baptism and after that? It was a go—but only to do whatever the Spirit of God testified that the Father have Him do. Even His resurrection was an act of the power of the Spirit of God raising Him up. He didn’t act of His own accord (read the word of God Romans 8:11 and Romans 6:4 and Acts 2:32).
You die tangled in the weeds of the way when you choose to operate in your own strength, your own power, your own will. You will be ruled by fear if the measure by which you are measured is that of self ability and not God Capacity to complete the good work in you that He himself started. Trying to figure out live beyond your means stifles and suffocates you; instead? You ought to be living within God’s means because your puny means could never get you there.
Hence, the fear
And this is the PROCESS that you can’t allow to punk you. The process of living within God’s means, doing what is His perfect will to do. Trusting that God Himself will insure that you get to that final destination that He guaranteed for you. You just have to release the HOW, and trust the WHO. And I KNOW! It is hard on a body. Making that switch to knowing that God does all things well and you are just plugging along doing His will and not your own? Tuh. The flesh fights that with its whole unruly self. But you can do it. Christ has given you the authority to do it, and the Holy Spirit is checking in for the steps that God has ordered to the plan that God has ordained.
Don’t give up. Keep going! Don’t allow the process of procuring a righteous mind keep you locked and chained in the pit of perfectionism. Process. Process. Process. And let God do the perfecting. Amen? Amen.