I once read a quote that said, “Once you figure out what respect tastes like, it tastes better than attention.” Now I want you to put a pin there because I’m going to come back around to it because this is important.
In my 43 years of living, I have known 3 things to be true in the Kingdom of God:
- A man is required to take care of what he creates;
- Part of “taking care of” is the mandate to protect physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually;
- And a man will not protect what he does not respect or find value in.
Many women — and I’d bet most women — have been indoctrinated to seek the attention of men rather than their respect. And it isn’t just about how we dress or how where we go or what we do; rather it is an acquiescing to things that do not speak to our self respect, a bending of who we are in exchange for a man’s time and favor.
What we do not realize and what I want to share with you is that REAL men equate respect with love. The more respect a mature man has for you, the more his love grows. Any man willing to disrespect you in anyway is showing you his estimation of who you are—and every time you bow to that disrespect, he begins to disregard you and treat you as something not worthy to care for.
You lose value.
I don’t believe that respect comes from your clothes or if you wear weaves or if you have tattoos and piercings or if you cuss like a sailor or like bright colors or what have you; any man hyper fixated on those things should be avoided at all costs anyway because his gaze is superficial and so is his estimation of women at large. Nor does it come from where you work or your net worth or your ability to keep a home or even cook. Respect comes from your own belief in your worthiness and your unwillingness to allow anyone to diminish who you are in anyway.
You are God’s special handiwork, a jewel more precious than rubies, fearfully and wonderfully made—and it is God’s will that you be treated like the precious gift that you are. That includes (if you desire it) a partner willing to protect you with his life as Christ did for the church.
So I ask you: what does respect taste like to you? When was the last time you ate some? What are you giving up for the unfulfilling snack of attention? Before you pursue a relationship with someone else, pursue one with yourself in Christ. God wants you to be WHOLE—nothing missing and nothing broken. When you are whole, you will command respect rather than seek out and beg for attention.