I Ate the Weight Instead of Casting the Care

Confession: I have carried a lot of weight on me because I have had to carry the weight of my testimony by myself. I have found out the hard way that not everybody (especially the so called SAVED FOLKS) can handle your story.

So I ate it.

Now, some people drink it, smoke it, drug it, sex it…you get the picture. We have ways of dealing with the weight of our story when nobody can carry it with us. I am just now learning how to hand that weight over to God. Not just tell Him about it, but actually hand it over. And it’s hard to do. You get so used to hugging your story close that to put it down almost seems… like betrayal. That’s a will issue, to choose to take your hands off something that God has asked you to take your hands off of.

In the midst of that, I had started to lose physical weight, cuz I had stopped eating for my pain. But also, other random people began to give me THEIR weight. Just kids at first, but then… whew. And because I know how to carry weight, I don’t blab or judge CUZ I UNDERSTAND. AND because I am learning to give it to God, I can pray for them like I pray for me and help lift their load without it burying me.

In Galatians, Paul said, “When you catch da homie slipping, you RESTORE her/him with soft hands cuz next time it could be you.” Then he says: “You supposed to bear each other’s burdens cuz that fulfills the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1-3 Kisha’s Country Black Girl Translation). Here’s the original text:

“Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.”

Galatians‬ ‭6:1-3‬ ‭KJV‬‬

The law of Christ is loving somebody the way THEY need to be loved, the way God loves us—with patience, kindness, and mercy. Like God loves yo busted behind. That is being HOLY as God as is Holy. That reckless love. And if you’re not sure what type of unbridled love looks like, check out 1 Corinthians 13. This conversation that Paul has with the Corinthians is a master class in how to de-center yourself and place God’s will at the center of your mind.

Because that’s what casting cares takes. De-centering yourself.

See, the narratives that you rehearse become what you believe. Those stories, confirmed by the enemy of your soul, get stored up inside you and your habits. Every time something bad happens, it hits the button in your mind labeled, “Reasons why we hold this weight.” And it becomes tougher to let it go. At the very same time, that weighty issue becomes like Seymour, yelling “FED ME.” And you began to unintentionally put yourself in the same situation over and over again.

It’s a never ending cycle of self abuse.

Better to just cast them joints.

We don’t have yo hold onto the weight. We can release it. And I wish I could give you a 3 step process but the truth is that letting is messy. You grieve. You second guess yourself. You fall back into bad habits and have to start all over. You try to make things work that have always been broken. You cry.

But after you’ve suffered awhile… God will establish you by His spirit and His word. You will be able to stand on the new understanding that you’ve come into. You’ll transformed in your mind. And then you can bring those emotions under subjection. That’s how you cast the care.

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