I almost forgot!
I’d actually meant to “press” someone else’s work and forgot that I never actually did it; I had saved it, thinking I’d scheduled it instead. What I had meant to do was leave a little blurb on their original post before I shared it because to do otherwise seems rude to me, and then I got caught up in some incredibly self absorbed things like working on my capstone, playing solitaire, sitting out in the sun, combing my hair, eating snacks, taking naps… you know, Mother’s Day pregaming activities.
Makes the poem pretty spot on, don’t ya think?
This year won’t be any family type stuff. My husband got his knee replaced this past Monday cuz no way he’d consider doing it after Mother’s Day! Never even crossed his mind, I’m sure. Also, to be fair, his own mother passed away during the first onslaught of COVID in 2020 in July, and his former mother-in-law with whom he had a fantastic relationship passed away in January 2021, so this is a tough time for him.
Mostly for me, though, today became a day of, “I really need to not be available much. I don’t want to think too hard for anybody.” And I set some hard boundaries to do…very little. And Stuck to my guns. It always feels very uncomfortable for me, being a recovering people pleaser. I so desperately feel the need to fix everything and make sure everyone’s having an easy time of it, y’know? But one thing that 2021-2022 has taught me is that empty cup everybody keeps referencing me pouring out of is a thing, and mine has been bone dry for quite some time. I’d been serving sweat and blood and bone marrow and dust made from my resentment. Nobody could live like that for much longer.
And while I bet they chafe under this new regime, trying to blame it on menopause and whatever else anybody can come up with? I know it is me holding boundaries that I ain’t never had. It’s rough on us all.