If you want to be an effective communicator? Listen. If you want to be an effective listener? De-center.
Everything someone else says runs through the gauntlet of your personal hangups, flaws, feelings, emotions, mindsets, belief systems, and general outlooks. People who listen well know this and not only monitor how they receive input BUT ALSO don’t say much because it takes longer than a few seconds to weed “ME” out the response.
It’s why it takes preachers who “expound” a while to warm up—The Spirit has to overcome the (often well meaning) flesh. Why they say, “I need to decrease so that He (The Lord) might increase.”
Listening leads to empathy and understanding, forgiveness and less offense. Lean into listening. Your life will be better for it!
(Read The Book of James, which gives you allll the info on why listening more and holding your words is the move.)