God has had me in a season of #forgiveness.

I have been reliving some very ugly experiences—things that people who “love” me said and did without apologies or even remorse (like they believe they are right to this day), how I ended up where I ended up so far from home and dreams, the shame and guilt I have smooshed down in my belly that y’all don’t see ever because I am VERY good at hiding those things… yeah.

As it comes up—as these roots of bitterness and shame are pulled up, I weep because the tearing hurts. Sometimes, I am angry. Sometimes I want to run away. Sometimes, I want to curl up and die. I keep taking up my cross, though. I keep forgiving myself. I keep forgiving other folks. I keep forgiving my PERCEPTION OF WHO GOD IS.

And I guess that’s my message?

Some of y’all outchea mad at what you PERCEIVE God to be. You cry because you think God has left you and you wonder why God let you go through all that. Can I share with you? God didn’t want you to be hurt. People CHOSE to do that to you out their own selfishness and weakness and perversion. God gave us all free will. So while His divine will is perfect FOR us, His permissive will allowed us free reign and dominion over ourselves. We have to CHOOSE His divine will. And most folks choose their flesh—what they want and how they want it to the detriment of the people around them.

Even though people have beat you down with fists and sex and and emotions and words, you can still CHOOSE God’s divine will for your life. And His will is to prosper you. To give you a future and a hope. To heal you. To regulate your mind so that you have peace. To set you free from captivity for the very sake of freedom. To love you with an everlasting love. To upholding you with His righteous right hand. To bless you with every spiritual blessing. To seat you in heavenly places.

All in Christ Jesus.

As Bill likes to say: If you make the choice, Jesus will make the change. ✌🏾